One of my biggest goals while playing poker, a goal that I document often throughout this blog, is to be able to play poker and have my hours put in, level of studying, and level of play be unaffected by the results of poker. For a minute today, I felt like I had a moment where this was the case. But I was wrong, sort of.

I saw Imper1um sitting at 5ks today and, having player him before, sat thinking I had a pretty significant edge. And as I played him I saw that edge come out, I got it in good against him several times and when I didn’t, I was pretty certain my play in the hand was good if not great. Sadly, I ended up down about 23k against him. And when he finally declined our last sng, I stayed seated for a second and absorbed the moment. I felt great. And for a minute I thought wow maybe I am starting to get it.

But then I realized a couple things. 1) Throughout the session it would be clear to anyone watching that I played well and 2) I had won a couple sngs at the end. What I realized was that although I was happy despite the monetary results, I think I would have been angry if it went a different way even if my level of play was the same. Let’s say I played 1 sng with Imper1um, and going in I felt like he was the type of player to fold to overbets. I get into a spot that seems like a good spot to overbet bluff, and I do. However he times down and calls me with middle pair. Did I play any worse in this scenario? No, but I would have felt worse.

I hope to see one day in my future where I play a 6 straight hours of poker, lose 20k, run bad, get it in bad, and have several hands where I get outplayed. When that session happens, and I sit for a minute afterwards and realize I still feel great about game, I’ll know that I’m getting somewhere.